Abandon all hope, ye who enter here
by Iodinemoon
Summary: Third person Outsider POV on the fates of the hunters who pass through the Roadhouse and never come back
1. Chapter 1

_Clotho spins the thread of life,_

_Lachesis draws your stake,_

_Atropos does the final snip,_

_And that, my dear, is Fate. _

He's been coming to the roadhouse twice a month for a long while now.

He doesn't particularly like the place but it's where all the hunters gather and he's got no where else to go. He sits in the farthest seat from the door, half-hidden by the shadows, but visible and scarred if anyone bothered to look.

Hunters are an interesting breed of men. They speak of nightmares and killing, but if you listen closely enough they talk of themselves. Of burdens and dreams and deaths. So he ignores the words and listens to _them_.

And he learns.


	2. Chapter 2

He knows that Daniel Elkins' life could end two ways and death is only one of them. He knows Elkins' deepest fear isn't dying, but becoming one of those of which he hunts. A vampire. And if Elkins was ever bitten he's sure Dan's first move would be to cut his own head off. Elkins is noble like that, twisted - but noble. And he thinks Odin will probably welcome the old hunter when the time comes because that's what virtue gets you; another soldier and another war.

So when he hears that Elkins got shredded by a bunch of vamps he knows Dan got a pretty good deal. He toasts the hunter's life because Dan would have agreed and he knows there are worse ways to die.

_You're better off Dan, it was either death or the vampire lifestyle, and we both know you could never have lived like that. _

It still doesn't stop him from wishing there was another option.


	3. Chapter 3

He knows Jim Murphy's faith in humanity will be the pastor's downfall.

He's not religious, the silver cross he wears is only a souvenir, but when the Catholic walks through the Roadhouse for the first time he's the only one who doesn't stop and stare. Jim's not the first man of God to fight the good fight and he won't be the last.

What strikes him about Murphy is that he _knows_ they exist: Heaven, Hell and the kindness of strangers. It's not the wavering, dying faith he sees in some of the eyes of the others. To Jim there's a God whether you believe in him or not. Personally it's too late for him to find faith in a master plan that isn't driven by the machinations of Hell, but Murphy's reassurance almost - _almost_- makes him want to try.

He sincerely hopes Jim finds his Heaven but even before:

_...Pastor Jim...Yeah...throat slit...some cathedral in Minnesota...No shit it's ironic - _

he knows there is no God. Because Faith and Death go hand in hand and the silver cross around his neck shouldn't belong to him.


	4. Chapter 4

He knows Bill's greatest weakness is his trust in his friends. So when Harvelle doesn't come home on Joanna Beth's (it's _Jo _now) eighth birthday Ellen is worried and Jo is pouting but he knows there is something _wrong_. Bill loves his kid more than anything. Certainly more than any hunt in South Dakota and miles more than John Winchester's brooding company.

In all the years he's known him, Bill has never broken a promise. So when Jo's father's not there to scoop her up, he's the only one who knows what's happened. It's the only thing that would ever cause Bill to break a promise to his daughter.

Ellen answers the telephone and _Bill? He's fine. I'll get him back Ellen, I promise. _But when everyone else is singing _Happy Birthday to you_, he's the only one whispering _I'm sorry_ even though the words are overwhelmed by happiness and they fade to black, unheard. It is the fate of all trust to get betrayed. Because John Winchester is a liar and Bill Harvelle is never coming home.


	5. Chapter 5

Technically he never actually meets Bobby Singer but his name gets bandied around the Roadhouse so often he could probably tell you his favourite colour anyways. Of all the reasons people have to hunt, Singer's reminds him the most of his own.

They're the ones without a Mary Winchester or a Chelsea Walker. They aren't on a quest for God or vengeance but Bobby had Rumsfeld and he had Dodge. They were just two guys with guns and dogs and too much time on their hands. He hopes Singer's smart enough not to end up like him because he'll end up regretting the day he decided _Hey look! There's a demon lets go kill it _and realizing your life was wasted is a horrible revelation.

Hunting isn't an addiction, it's a monster on a leash and if you wait too long it will turn around and rip you to shreds. He's still got some of the scars to prove it. So if Singer plays his cards right he's sure the guy can walk away and outlive them all. All Bobby's got to do is let go of the leash.


	6. Chapter 6

His first impression of John Winchester is that he's an irredeemable bastard who's going to Hell. He's not the only one with that opinion either.

_You reckless bastard! Think it's worth nearly killing yourself to send one demon back to Hell? _

Stupid question, he thinks, given it's intended recipient.

_It's always worth it_ comes the answer between waves of pain and he thinks the Winchester actually means it.

§

The next time he sees him John's working on his second bottle of scotch and _Dean...it's bad...hospital...screwed up_. Captain Ahab went after the white whale and so doomed the crew of the _Pequod_. Bill doesn't bother asking _is it still worth it?_ because Harvelle's a lot smarter than he looks. He knows too, that John is the reason Bill won't ever break a promise to Jo.

Being a good hunter and being a good father are two entirely different things and Bill knows which he'd rather be. Because two things are certain: John Winchester is a bastard and good fathers know it will _never_ be worth it.

§

Ellen calls John a bastard (among many other things) the day he shows up in the rain and her husband isn't next to him. She yells so loud the entire Roadhouse clears out into the thunderstorm instead of staying inside and witnessing a hurricane. He hears John say _we got it_ and Ellen tells him (doesn't ask like Bill always did) that _it wasn't worth it._ And before he fades into the rain he's tempted to tell them it never is.

§

The next time it's nearly two in the morning and John's nursing a bottle of vodka. The hunter sits in the far corner booth, broken and morose, and drunk as Hell because he apologizes over and over to someone who definitely _isn't there_. So no one but him hears John tell a story about a family and a fire. Of Dean and Sam and _Mary,_ and a series of moments someone will never get back.

He thinks maybe he could tell John a story too, about a hunter and his best friend and a yellow dog named Dodge, but his doesn't end well either. So instead he fingers the circular scar below his ribs and wishes alcohol made them forget instead of remember. And they sit there, in silent commiseration: two old hunters trying to drown themselves out of existence.

It's four in the morning by the time John's hazy eyes track his movements as he exits even though it's still pitch black in the Roadhouse. He figures it's all done on pure hunter's instinct because John's eyes have glazed over and the rough voice whispers _I'm so sorry Mary_ for the fiftieth time as he slips out the doorHe knows_ Done is done, it cannot be made undone, _but Plautus was a fool who never wrote tragedies so he wishes just the sameHe leaves that morning thinking that John Winchester is a good hunter, a terrible father and first impressions, well, first impressions can be dead wrong.

§

He learns John Winchester is dead two months after the fact. He overhears the two middle-aged hunters to his left talking over pints.

_Winchester's gone. _

_Which one? _

_John. _

_No kidding? Last I heard one of the sons got knocked around pretty bad in a car crash. You know, the whole body-in-a-blender kinda thing. _

_Nah, it was definitely John. The Son of a Bitch actually had the audacity to die of a freaking heart attack in the middle of a hospital too. Kid's gonna be okay though. _

_Lucky Devil._

But he knows that John was practically cursed with immortality and the Winchesters are anything but lucky. He knows because coma patients don't just wake up, healthy men don't just die and _two and two make four._ He wants to think differently though. He needs to hope the hunter was enough of a father not to dump all that crap on his kids. He wants to think that John learned_ it's never worth it_ and that Ahab let Moby Dick go and saved his own soul instead. Because if not, then he was right all along and John Winchester is an irredeemable bastard who's burning in Hell.


	7. Chapter 7

He knows Gordon Walker's type and, by extension, his fate. They're all the same. Hunter, through and through, world painted in black and white, good and evil. Heck Walker probably even has everything labeled either _Do not kill _or _Mutilate beyond recognition _because those are the only two options he's ever heard Gordon talk about. Even Ellen can't keep the slight admiration from her voice and she hatesthe guy.

_Came in yesterday with his arm all up in shreds and didn't even blink an eye. _

He knows though, that Gordon probably can't feel _anything _anymore because in the hour he's been sitting next to him, Walker's never uttered a word and he knows that daeva claws hurt like a bitch.

What hurts him the most is that even when he learns of Walker's kills he can't even say Gordon's a good hunter. The word implies too much humanity and hunters aren't exactly known to have much to begin with.

He wonders who made the man into a killing machine but he figures Walker's probably cast them into Hell already with a long machete and a promise of _see you later_. He thinks Gordon knows they probably answered _we will _and maybe, just maybe, that's why Gordon Walker doesn't feel pain anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

He hears about the Winchester boys for two years before he meets them. The news is sparse and erratic and he thinks their Daddy taught them well because they're damn good at disappearing.

He's smart enough not to believe all the Roadhouse gossip about isolated psychos because Gordon Walker's cheek bruise didn't crawl up there by itself and when Ellen mutters _Winchester_ under her breath it may not be with affection but at least it's devoid of hate. That alone is a miracle in itself.

With all the rumours going around he's genuinely amused that when Dean Winchester limps in on a second Sunday in May he's exactly what he expects. It's scary actually because when the hunter smirks and flashes a smile it almost seems _familiar_. He can see the father's training in every move the son makes as he sits there (where John used to sit), downing vodka (what John used to drink) surrounded by liars and thieves (both of which John used to be) and is completely at ease. Daniel in a den full of lions.

He wonders why the boy doesn't even try to claw his way out of a hunter's fate. Then again, that monster on a leash is the only thing Dean has ever known and nobody taught him to be afraid. So after two hours of watching the elder son guy talk about bullet calibers and how best to kill an incubus he's ready to accept Dean Winchester as John's younger stunt double in a bad movie that's doomed to repeat itself.

He doesn't though, because that day he meets Sam Winchester too. The younger brother comes walking in (shoulders hunched, head down as though that could somehow make him _smaller_) and nobody turns, nobody moves and nobody notices. But something _changes_.

Dean's still at the bar, just as dangerous and obsessed as before but now there's a purpose. Instead of having something to kill, now there's something to kill _for_ and in his experience that makes Dean a hell of a lot more dangerous than any isolated psycho. So instead of obsession he sees loyalty and instead of cockiness he sees desperation and he thinks Dean Winchester's enough like his Father because they both almost had him fooled.

The brothers sit at the bar, talking and drinking, just like he and William used to do, in a different time, and a different place,

_Him? Nope, can't stand the guy. Has one Hell of a dog though..._

and he'd roll his eyes, Will would chuckle and after these years he's surprised he can still remember what that type of perfection is like.

The brothers Winchester are like that now: genuine, in room full of shades who fake their way through life. They're drowning in evil, plagued by death but what would break any other hunter somehow makes the two of them seem vividly _alive. _He thinks that's the feeling he misses the most. Because existenceis the drug of the broken and betrayed and the Roadhouse is simply a refuge for addicts.

§

The next time they're in all he hears is Sam's laugher and the sound causes his brother to smile. It's _SamandDean_ at the bar and for a couple moments he forgets the world could end tomorrow and he thanks the pair for that. Sam gets up and stalks towards the back room while Dean's eyes track him out of habit, making sure nothing touches his little brother. Faith and trust.

The same faith that killed Pastor Jim and the same trust that killed Bill Harvelle. So that's the moment he decides that Dean Winchester is destined for tragedy because there are only two things that can break that kind of devotion. One is death and that's a sad sick ending. The other is betrayal and that's a whole lot worse.

But when the brothers stumble in after hunting and Sam's bloody and mangled, Dean's always there to patch him up. When the younger Winchester's brooding and morose, the elder's always there to smile and laugh. And where Dean Winchester goes Sam follows because devotion goes both ways.

He's sure they're twisted and scarred and probably terrified but as long as they are _alive_ somehow he thinks everything else will work itself out. _Dum vita est, spes es. _So all he can do is curse John Winchester for dealing with devils because the bastard probably knew _it was worth it _all along.


	9. Chapter 9

He first hears the possibility of Sam Winchester turning evil from Gordon Walker when it's raining outside. The hunter Gordon's talking to actually burst out laughing, evidently unaware that Walker is a) serious and b) armed.

It's like someone walks into the looney bin, picks out the only sane person and then tries to convince you they're a paranoid schizophrenic and will one day kill you. Oh, and that someone was probably a patient at the asylum to begin with. Yeah, it's a bit funnier when you look at it like that.

He's only seen a handful of hunters crack over the years and he might even count Walker as one. But he knows Lucifer sat on God's right hand before _Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heav'n _and that Michael wept when he was sent to kill his brother.

Traitors are no strangers to the hunting game either but besides a few vendettas, possessions and killing sprees no one's brought on an apocalypse. Not yet anyways.

_Lambs, locusts, horsemen, scorpions...if this is how the world ends it's gonna be a full blown circus. _

_William. It's a Bible, not an almanac. Lighten up. _

And he thinks if the sky comes crashing down right now they aren't going to need trumpets or seals or horsemen because over the years he's learned to give the wickedness of men a little more credit.

He thinks it's unlikely that the Earth will stop spinning any time soon given that it's already been about four billion years and it's Sam Winchester they're talking about. To begin with he's a _hunter_ (so he kills evil for a living), secondly he's a _Winchester_ (so he never really had a choice in the matter) and thirdly he's _Sam Winchester _and that'll be enough for Dean.

He thinks that the elder Winchester is a better hunter than he was or ever will be, and if anyone can keep Sam from falling it's his older brother. He watches the younger Winchester carefully the next time they're in: watches his earnest eyes (it's not innocence, it's _hope_) and sees the trustworthiness and the _regret_ (Sam's only twenty three for Christ's sake) reflected there. But if he looks deeper (it gets darker as you go down) there's violence and pain, restrained by nothing more than a conscious decision to be _good_.

Even Jobe couldn't have held out forever.

Sam's the catalyst for everything around him. The firestarter. The younger Winchester's paradoxically both the cause and effect of the life he leads and simultaneously his brother's greatest strength and greatest weakness, so his life's already pretty messed up without worrying about turning into a monster.

He decides if Dean can save Sam they're going to be the most prolific hunters he's seen in a very long time and he likes to think Walker is a lunatic for proposing otherwise. But the day he realizes that Dean is powerless against Sam, is the day he realizes the alternative is much worse than death. If Sam ever unleashes all that fury and training and pain it will break his older brother in a way death never could.

So he decides if Sam Winchester ever turns evil, they're all going to be royally screwed, because Dean Winchester will never kill his Sammy and Michael let Lucifer jump.


	10. Chapter 10

If anyone asked he'd say he's a hunter from the South who somehow ends up here, twice a month, like clockwork. He's a drifter, going from place to place, from town to town. They'd understand. All hunters are wanderers in the end.

He curses the day he saw his first demon because he'd wanted to drop everything and sink to the ground. He curses the day he learned how to kill one because it meant he'd have to live anyways; but the day he regrets the most is the day he stopped hunting altogether because it meant he had nothing left to hunt _for_.

He never did learn how to drop that leash because he still shows up at the Roadhouse and listens to the hunters talk because there's nothing left except alcohol that doesn't work and other people's fates.

So he sits silently and waits for the day Hell finally comes and claims him for their own.


	11. Chapter 11

Sam smiles and it's sinister and twisted and evil. His expression is ripe with betrayal and acceptance. Ready to follow the fate the Moirae wove a long time ago. It's a grin that is evil and terrible and _pure._ Sam drops his smile as Ellen comes out and says Winchester with genuine trust and affection. And all he can do is turn his head and let a tear fall down his cheek because he's seen that same smile before and he knows how the rest plays out.

_Where's Dean? _

_(Where's Dodge?)_

_Don't know. I was hoping you would. _

_(Can't you keep track of your own damned dog?!)_

_Sorry Sam. Haven't seen him. _

_(Will, he was with you last)_

And then that friendly, forgiving smile twists itself into something evil and then they always _know_.

Because William is suddenly aiming the gun at _you_.

_(Thirty pieces of silver is a fair price for a life)_

And he's wearing that same smile as he shoots, only once, through your heart.

_(Et tu, Brute?)_

And you clutch at him before you fall and that simple cross he always wears rips from around his neck.

_(Hail Mary, full of grace...)_

And you bleed out on the floor because your best friend betrayed you and nobody ever told you there was no God.

§

The gunshot from the back room is deafening but he doesn't even hear it.

He's not surprised when Sam Winchester's the only one who comes back out and there's a dark red stain seeping from under the door. Sam looks at him and smiles, the same reassuring smile he's seen on the younger Winchester for years but now there's blood in his hair and evil in his soul. He looks like the Angel of Death and Destruction. And it's beautiful.

_William always wondered what happened to that cross._

He jumps because he's forgotten what it's like to be spoken to. Sam's voice is melodic (like he's singing a lullaby) as the hunter's eyes track his fingers fiddling unconsciously with the silver cross that won't let him forget.

There is evil everywhere. In everything. In everyone.

And Sam smiles because he already knows.

Where William failed Sam won't. To begin with he's a _hunter_ (so he kills for a living), secondly he's a _Winchester_ (so he's an irredeemable bastard) and thirdly he's _Sam Winchester _and that'll always be enough for Dean.

So Sam exits in search of the one person who has the power to kill him and the one person who never will, and leaves him at the Roadhouse to wait for the circus at the end of the world.


	12. Chapter 12

He never gets to see it.

Five months and two days after Joanna Beth (not _Jo_ anymore) finds her mother's body on the cold cellar floor something happens.

He stops what he's doing because for the first time in 250 years he feels pain. He feels like there's flames engulfing his legs and the heat is steadily working it's way up to his chest, burning away scars and hurts and memories. Purifying and damning at once.

He knows someone's finally found Samuel Colt's grave in Tennessee and is burning his old bones to ash. He probably has Sam to thank for that but Dean is still out there too. And he thinks it's ironic that of all the fates he's predicted over the years, his was the only one he never saw coming.

But he never gets the chance to regret because suddenly Dodge comes bounding across the field under a yellow sun and all he wants to do is play fetch.


	13. Chapter 13

Authors Notes:

_Abandon all hope, ye who enter here_ is one of the verses translated from Dante's InfernoIt is supposedly the words inscribed over the Gates of Hell.

_Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos _were the three Fates in Greek mythology. They wove destiny and when your thread was cut you died.

_Odin _was the chief Norse God who chose valiant soldiers for Valhalla - the Hall of the Slain - where they would rest before fighting for Good in the war at the end of the world.

_Captain Ahab_ was the fictional captain of the _Pequod_ in Herman Melville's Moby Dick. He was so obsessed with finding and killing the white whale he doomed his entire crew and was himself killed. Moby Dick (the whale) survives.

_Done is done, it cannot be made undone_ is a phrase translated (liberally) from Latin. It's by Plautus, a Greek playwright who was famous for his comedies.

_Daniel_ is a prophet in the Bible who is famously sentenced by King Darius to be cast to the lions for practicing the Christian faith. He later returns completely unscathed presumably protected by his God.

_Dum vita est, spes es: _In English, liberally: Where there is life, there is hope.

_Lucifer _was actually a high ranking archangel (according to most) before falling.

_Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heav'n _is a famous verse from John Milton's Paradise Lost which chronicles, among other things, Lucifer's fall from grace.

_Michael_ refers to the archangel Michael who, according to the Bible, commanded God's forces against Lucifer's rebellion.

_Lambs, locusts, horsemen, scorpions... _The Book of Revelations in the New Testament does indeed have the Lamb of God (Agnus Dei), locusts and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The other creatures they describe are very...interesting, so in my mind I make them look like scorpions.

_Jobe _in the Bible is a man blessed by God whose life is destroyed by Satan in an attempt to break his faith. It almost works by the way, but God interrupts just in time.

_...Michael let Lucifer jump. _This one's total and complete fiction, no references anywhere.

_Moirae _was the term used to describe the three Greek Fates (see _Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos_)

_Thirty pieces of silver_ was allegedly the price Judas was paid to betray Jesus to the authorities.

_Et tu, Brute?_ were, according to Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, the last words of Caesar before he died. He's referring to Brutus, his best friend, who stabs him last and the betrayal (arguably) extinguishes Caesar's will to live.

_Hail Mary, full of grace..._ is the beginning of a traditional Catholic prayer to the Virgin Mary.

_Samuel Colt_ was actually a real person (didn't know that when I was writing this) so I took a lot of liberties with his life and death. This is not historically accurate. For your information he died a wealthy man on January 10th, 1862 and was not shot by his best friend. Don't kill me please.


End file.
